Is this it?

I've got it! I've figured something out about myself. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm making connections.

Interesting how things happen. I'm catching a glimpse of what really bothers me. There had been what was called a "manager meeting" at work yesterday. I'd felt completely out of place, to begin with. But as the meeting progressed, I kept wondering about why I felt that way. Apart from the whole corporate thing, that is.

The meeting was, essentially, about generating more money. It's all in the guise of serving (or servicing) the customer, but when you really think about it, it's just about making more money for those who already have lots of money.

I'd fallen asleep for a couple of hours after getting home, & upon awakening I'd started, in the back of my mind, thinking about what annoys me about this job. An image...of sorts...hit me. I'm not just a man out of time, I'm not simply expecting manners from others, I'm not a bad sort. I'm seeing this real problem rather as a condemned man being asked to come up with ideas on how to make his execution more entertaining to his executioners. The kids with whom I work are totally blind to all of this, & I've been harping on the symptoms of a much greater disease for some years. I see it all now.

I have to think it all out more, but I think I've struck on the source of of my problem. But, unlike the middle-aged man's "second childhood", I'm looking to scale back. I have an incredible need to remove this crap from my life.